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In addition to the Londoners heading there in search of hook-ups, a lot of out-of-towners opt to head to Chariots instead of heading to a hotel, as itвЂ™s open all night and cheaper than a Holiday Inn, so itвЂ™s a good place to meet new faces.

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You can call ahead and book a professional massage, and the Chariots team also host weekly testing clinics to help you ensure youвЂ™re playing safe.

If youвЂ™re after a bang, youвЂ™re likely to have more luck at Chariots than with a sauna-offвЂ¦sorry, a sawn-off shotgun, but things can get as intensely wild or stay as mild as you like. It boasts a heated swimming pool, two spa pools, a 30-man sauna, two large steam rooms, group showers, various chill out areas and a gym вЂ“ basically, a lot of different ways to get wet and hot.Д«athing suits are optional, so feel free to hang out with your wang out, take a skinny dip (or a beefcake plunge), or just relax by the water and watch the bathing beauties. LondonвЂ™s biggest and busiest gay sauna, Chariots Shoreditch is a bit like a leisure centre with club lights and sex.

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We could make all manner of sexual/gardening puns about rooting and shooting here, but weвЂ™ll just say that TG offers top class alternative adult entertainment in spades.ДЇor full listings, visit Photo: Dafydd Owen ThereвЂ™s all sorts growing in the Torture Garden.

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The stage shows are the stuff of lewd legend: Dita von Teese made her UK debut at TG there are frequently hardcore body modification and manipulation demonstrations featuring everything from extreme piercings to contortion to people being suspended from ropes attached to hooks poked through their skin and itвЂ™s not uncommon to see fireworks been set off from performersвЂ™ orifices, paint and milk being shot out of vaginas, and lasers shining from the bumhole of a trapeze artist.

Music is varied, more smoothly mixed than a masterchefвЂ™s crepe batter, and guests actually dance in addition to playing in the dungeons and dark rooms look out for TG founder David on the decks, as well as manager Charlotte and the excellently energetic Rockit Riyad.

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ItвЂ™s worth going just to look at the fashions the dress code states that attendees shouldnвЂ™t even bother queuing for entry unless theyвЂ™re wearing something that would turn heads and elicit stares on the street, so partygoersвЂ™ costumes will have your eyes on stalks (although thatвЂ™s not where the вЂGardenвЂ™ name comes from itвЂ™s a reference to a dark French novel about a sadist who likes to watch such horrors as flayings and crucifixions, juxtaposed against a beautiful outdoor setting in China). The worldвЂ™s largest fetish and fantasy club, started in 1990, a visit to Torture Garden (affectionately referred to as TG) is considered a rite of passage for those wishing to explore and expand their sexual horizons. Visit the Club Pedestal website for details of upcoming events. Sole: If youвЂ™re into having women walk all over you вЂ“ literally вЂ“ then try the trample cage, where goddesses in high heels stomp upon the prone bodies of grateful male wretches.Дogger: No, thatвЂ™s a different fetish entirely. Gale warning: вЂGail WarningвЂ™ would be a great name for a drag or burlesque artist, and Club Pedestal frequently features live acts such as boylesque troupes, comedians and kinky performers, as well as вЂBest Dressed ManвЂ™ competitions where dominatrixes judge which of the men-maggots have tried the hardest to please them with their costumes. Visibility: Look out for the House Slaves, who wear distinctive red collars, and who are on hand to cater to the wishes of all female guests вЂ“В whether that includes bringing them strawberries or polishing their boots using their shoe shine kits.

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Some are in the DJ rooms, so that strikes can be synced in time to the beats of the music, while others are in quieter spaces, where the crisp thwack of a whip being cracked against a bumcrack can be fully heard and savoured. Weather: Thundering paddle and cane blows are likely to rain down upon the bottoms of gents using the 15+ pieces of dungeon equipment, which are spread across the club. Extremely friendly, empowering and indulgent for lasses, and ball-shrivellingly brilliant for subby boys. General synopsis at Club Pedestal: a night that centres around the enjoyment and entertainment of females, where the girls are truly on top, and where submissive men come to serve, spoil, wait upon, bow before, give foot massages to, bring glasses of Champagne for, do the bidding of and generally act as willing slaves to dominant women. Good evening, and welcome to the Female Worshipping Forecast.